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I had been dating Pam for a few weeks and during this time I had only seen the tail of her cat as it ran underneath the futon
sofa that she had. He did not seem to be very friendly at all even though I would say "hello kitty" every time I came over
to Pam's place.
Pam said it would take a while for him to warm up to me. Just do not expect Leo to let me pet or hold him, as he is strictly
a woman's cat. Also, he has trouble pronouncing hard "G" sounds, being a Jersey shore cat, so expect him to butcher my name
if he ever spoke to me!
Having a free day off of work one week when Pam was working, I thought that it would be a nice surprise to make the 1 1/2
hour drive up to her place in New Jersey and have dinner waiting for her when she got home. I thought this would be a special
treat for her.
I stopped by the grocery store and picked up some fresh veggies, a nice steak, and even a can of food for Leo. Then I ran
over to the florist shop to pick up some flowers.
Making it over to Pam's apartment, I walked in, fully expecting to see a flash of fur flying under the sofa. Instead, there
sits Leo sitting in the computer chair, reading the Wall Street Journal, with copies of Money Magazine, the Asbury Park Press
newspaper and Saimese Cat magazines at his side! There is a cigar hanging out of his mouth, an open Coors Light on the end
table (without a coaster), and he is picking at the hairs on his furry little butt while he listens to pussy cat doll music
playing in the back ground!
"Hello Kitty" I say as I walk in.
He looks up at me wants to know what I am doing there! He tells me that he is the male of the house and that there is only
room for one male and it sure is not me!
I came over to cook, I told him, and I showed him a can of 9 Lives tuna dinner that I brought home for him.
Leo: ”Hey Jurge, where did you ever get the idea that I like 9 Lives cat food?”
George: “Leo buddy, since I am dating Pam, I thought it would be nice to treat her to a special dinner and to treat
you to something special too!”
Leo: “Let me tell you something Jurge, you are out of your league! First off, I only eat Science Diet Savory Cuts. Second,
I do not appreciate you just walking in here without even knocking! Third, you are really a jerk in my book, and since I do
not know what Pam sees in you, why don't you just stay away?”
George: “Well Leo, I am dating Pam, not you, and that is the was it is. Now tell me, just how much beer have you had
to drink?”
Leo: “Evidently I have not had enough beer to like you, not even enough to make you look better!”
George: “Well I am sorry to hear you feel that way, but you'll have to get used to my being around. Tell me something,
what are the magazines and newspaper doing here anyway? I have not seen them here before.”
Leo: “I read them in order to keep up with my investments. Like I said, you are out of your league, Jurge. You should
try reading sometime! From what I understand, you have trouble getting the jokes in the Sunday comics! Here's one for you,
have you ever seen an idiot wrapped in plastic?”
George: “No Leo, I have not”
Leo: “Then pull out your drivers license!”
And with that, Leo went into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, rolling off of the sofa in the process, knocking over the
beer and burning a hole in the futon with his cigar.
"Ha, Ha Jurge, I am going to leave this mess here and Pam will think that you did it."
At just that moment, I hear a key going into the door lock. Leo grabs his paper and magazines, throws the cigar into the toilet
and heads under the bed.
If Pam was not worth it, the cat would be history! I wonder if she will believe this story?
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