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One afternoon, we hear knocking on the door. It is the neighbor, and he is very upset. He told us to look over the fence and
what do we see?
A large Koi, 2/3 eaten, laying right next to the brand new Koi pond.
It appears that Leo had been watching the progress of the construction of the koi pond. He knew what it was because he
liked to watch the Home and Garden channel when we are not home, and they had done a show on it.
When he saw the truck pull up with the fish, he asked to take a stroll outside, with "cat instincts" going full
bore!
The neighbor said that he saw Leo eat the fish when he looked out his window later that day, and he wanted us to pay $130.00
for it.
We refused, so we went to court. Here are some of the transcripts from the trial:
Judge: Leo, were you at the neighbors house, in the vicinity of the Koi pond the afternoon of the 5th.
Leo: "No your honor."
Judge: "Are you calling Mr. X a liar?"
Leo: "Yes your honor."
Judge: "Mr. X showed video from his security camera, and in it, you are clearly seen pulling the fish from the pond."
Leo:"Bull crap!"
Judge: "You will not address the bench that way! Watch your attitude here in court you little fur ball!"
Leo: "Scuse me. But I was not talking to wood. I was talk'in to YOU! Besides, Those were doctored tapes your honor,
I have no claws so I could not pull the fish from the pond!"
Judge: "Leo, evidence shows that you were declawed 1 week after the alleged Koi killing."
Leo: "No your honor, that is not right either, they misstated the year. It had been 11 months and 3 weeks since I
was declawed, not 1 week as the paperwork shows."
Judge: "Leo, your cat certificate shows you were adopted only 10 months ago at 6 weeks old, so you were not even
born when you say your were being declawed."
Leo: "I was adopted?"
Judge: "Yes, but back to ...."
Leo: "Wait! Miss Pam told me I was her son! Bytch!"
Judge: Can we get back to the case?
Leo: "The dog."
Judge: What?
Leo: "The dog set me up. Dogs hate me. The dog doctored the tapes, he pulled the fish out, he killed it."
Judge: "What dog?"
Leo: "The dog named Puffy. He is big and mean and is about my size and is kinda weird and .... darn ....."
Judge: "What?"
Leo: "He was put down at the pound yesterday after I called them about his being a stray because he would not come
to court for me. (heh heh heh)"
Judge: "You have to do better than that, Leo."
Leo: "Then my defense is that I am a cat!"
Judge: "And?"
Leo: "Cats cannot be held responsible for stupid human actions. And in this case, if a stupid human builds a Koi
pond in a yard that has easy access to cats or dogs or kids or other animals, then the animal cannot be held responsible.
Besides, I don't care either way what you think, my owner said that he will kick your ass if he has to pay. Why, just last
night he called you a moron!"
Judge: "Guilty - $500 plus court costs."
Leo: "Thanks for nothing. Hey Jurge, you got your debit card handy, I am a little short this month!"
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